When I was taught seventh and eighth graders (for 32 years!) I early on realized that those kids could be the most hurtful, cruel mean little *&@%* in the world...an age of insecurity..so much so that I developed a saying that described their attitudes..."Do unto others BEFORE they can do it to you"! And I do believe that is the middle schooler's unconscious words to live by!
I also early on came across a quote...“Nobody can hurt me without my permission." I had contributed this quote to Eleanor Roosevelt whom I highly admire, but recently I came across information quoting Mahatma Gandhi as saying that...thus I have concluded that Eleanor used the phrase, but that she was quoting Gandhi!
Anyway, I made a big poster of this phrase and would use it very often in counseling those tender souls who had hurt feelings all the time.
And I developed my own philosophy about "hurt feelings" for them and the adult world...Someone may say or do something that appears to be hurtful...but knowing the person in question, I know they care for me and would not really want me to be hurt...therefore, I am not hurt! On the other hand, if someone says or does something that does sting a little, I think one of two things...something is really bothering THEM, not really related to our friendship...OR they are really not my friend...so that is their problem, not mine!!
And, lastly....age does wonders to create a thicker skin...I think once one hits 50+ the whole idea of "hurt feelings" is...Who cares? Life is just too short to allow any unhappy emotions to enter your well-being!!!
Well, I am sure I have ranted long enough....sorry! I have a feeling most of you who are reading this will not have gotten this far...so you are not seeing my apology!!!
So very right you are, sadly, my emotions never really grew past the age of 8th - 9th grade and haven't developed that thick skin, yet....but I'm trying.
ReplyDeleteThose kids were very lucky to have you as their teacher, I only hope they realized it.
I read it ALL!
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